Finishing school is not just about learning etiquette, it is also about learning how to become a better person. Because in the end, there are certain personality traits and behaviours that will render etiquette lessons difficult to learn as well as decrease the impact of those that were learned. For this reason, we want to share with you traits and behaviors you should avoid.

Here are 10 traits and behaviours a lady should eliminate from her being:

  1. Gaudiness
  2. Narcissism
  3. Excessive frivolity
  4. Pettiness
  5. Arrogance
  6. Unsanitary behavior
  7. Untidiness
  8. Lack of dependability
  9. Insensitivity
  10. Maliciousness

Today schedule at least five minutes of quiet time for yourself. During those minutes, we want you to take a good look at yourself, at your recent thoughts and actions. In the last five months, have you…

  1. Spoken loudly with others outside your home
  2. Screamed in anger continuously
  3. Flirted with men while married or dating another seriously
  4. Flirted with men in front of a date or partner
  5. Been quick to anger
  6. Exhibited no regard for a personal financial budget
  7. Exhibited no regard for a partner’s financial budget

If you want to look like a lady, it is important you behave like one. The best part about behaving like a lady, or a gentlewoman, is: you can help create a better world. The side benefit is you will also improve the way others see and experience you, resulting in more invitations, genuine friendships, and happier times.

As Emily Post says: “Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentlefolk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members.” Doesn’t that sound like a world you want to be a member of?

So, if you have exhibited any of the above behaviors or characteristics in any of your recent thoughts or actions, it is time for you to acknowledge them, write them down, and work on eliminating them. There are many ways to do this. You can…

  1. Replace bad behaviors with good ones.
  2. Fine yourself or give something up every time you commit a bad behavior.
  3. Spend time contemplating why it is bad behavior and how it can hurt you and others.
  4. Visualize the opposite behavior – how you would do it and how it would make you feel.
  5. Visualize reacting to a plaguing situation better and make plans for future situations.

There are many articles online as well as self-help books on eliminating bad habits. We’ve only listed a basic few. So, please do some research. For habits proving hard to break, get some counseling. There may be something you are not seeing. The key is to acknowledge the problem(s) and then work at it… improve your self.